My 5 year old daughter had been complaining of ear ache for several days. We went several times to the doctor but they did not give antibiotics. Eventually she got very ill. We took her to the A&E where she was admitted and put on a life support machine. She died a week after the incident. We're angry, sad and confused to say the least. What do we do now? Should we sue the doctors? 

Our response:

We are deeply troubled by what has happened and share your sorrow.

Documentation of relatives' perspectives:

1. Information and your recollection of what went on is extremely important.
2. Get a new separate note book with about 200 pages.
3. Start making notes from your memory or from other persons memory.
4. Label your entries:
   1. Date of entry, time etc.
   2. Person making the entry (you).
   3. Approximate date and time of recollected event(s). Keep each situation recalled as separate as possible.
   4. Name of any person who is an informant for your entry.
5. The order of your entries is not terribly important at this stage. The most important thing is to get all your recollections down on paper within 48 hours.
6. Be as detailed as you need to be. Recall verbatim what was said eg. Dr X said "She was not in need of antibiotics".
7. Keep this book safe and make a photocopy of it.
8. You can do all this documentation as well in an Excel spreadsheet if you have basic computer skills.

First meetings with management

(Normally, these meetings are not attended by lawyers - management's main purpose is to pacify and to apologise. However, there could be hidden agendas on their side.)

1. You must go prepared for this.
2. Never go alone. A minimum of three persons should attend.
3. In advance you should inform management that you will be taking detailed minutes. Do not depend on management to take minutes and share them with you. You need your own set of minutes.
4. Consider paying a professional stenographer who can do shorthand at about 200 wpm. Why? Because shorthand is as close as you can get to 'tape recording' a meeting. And most meetings like these will not allow tape recording of any kind.
5. If you cannot get or afford a stenographer, delegate two of your team to take minutes - as detailed as possible. If their are three of you A (you), B and C - then B and C should take turns in  10-15 minutes consecutive timeslots. This is to avoid them becoming tired - and to allow B and C to participate.
6. The actual hand written minutes must have the times at which B and C start and stop. Later on the minutes will be typed up and put in order.
7. Management will apologise. Resist saying or doing anything that indicates that you accept an apology - as this could weaken anything you say or do later on. So prepare your self with a set of responses that indicate understanding but not acceptance. Something like "That's an interesting statement...we need to get further into the facts and leave apologies to one side for the moment".
8. Do not indicate agreement on your responsibilities eg. do not get into a situation where you agree that you could have acted sooner or differently. This could be a trap. It could be used against you later on if you decide to sue. Why? They could use it in the concept of 'contributory negligence'.
9. If you get into a corner with them saying something like "But you could have done...A, B, or C thing". You should politely say that you are trying to understand what has happened, and that you did not come with a mind to making any declaration of responsibility.